Nearly a year....

Its been a while since Ive been on here....mainly because I had a TON of things happen all at once...all BAD, trust me. Another year has passed, and there is so much to write about so I will be posting the stories soon....I just want to say that I welcome this new year ( I know we are in March) with open arms, and open mind. I am excited with what is to come, and after you know what happened last year, you'll understand.

Good Morning!

Its my day off and I am still in my PJ's....made yummy breakfast.....(I love cooking) and I'm doing laundry. I have a meeting today and then It's cleaning time.
I am still very sad though.....I don't know why but I feel as if something is going to happen really soon....and I can't tell if it's bad or good...hate that.
I recently quit drinking and and had to let go of 2 of my oldest friends...I guess that's whats weighing on my heart....
It really hurts, but it is what it is right???
Anyway, I have consented to be a nanny on top of my full time job. WOW! I'm still in shock....and if ANYONE has ANY advice, please do not hesitate to give it!
I am scared but excited....wierd I know....

Forcing Myself

Ok...so here I am smoking (shame shame) .....thought: People do things they know to be insintrically bad for them because it makes them feel good...is it just me or is that really an oxymoron???

My brothers girlfriend has started a workout thing where she has to walk 40 mins a day. Good for her..... I am really proud of people that have motivation. Currently, I have none. I am overwieght, I used to go to the gym and be really dedicated. You know how that is. Anyway, she asked me to go walking, I said sure!
I know I need to, but I sure as hell don't feel like it! Hmmmm.....
Motivation......(it's still cold outside)...........going for it anyway.......I guess.....

I'm sulking....
I'm stubborn....I know I have to get moving but I guess Im the type of person who doesnt like to go with the flow I'll start on my own time!!!!
(but I'm still going)

New Year Resolution Cliche

Ever wonder why so many people fail at what they resolve to do for the new year? Why by early February most resolutions have dissipated??? Here's why: Too many resolutions, in an unrealistic time frame. Let's be honest, if you want to commit to something, you have to start small, and be committed to ONE THING AT A TIME!!! I especially get annoyed at all of this deranged influence that the media has over people particularly at the beginning of the year....people buying things(BowFlex, gym clothes, supplements....really?)that, well, let's face it...they'll NEVER use (generally speaking).

I've started this blog, because I want to follow my year, everything I do, everything I am attempting to do....EVERYTHING. I don't really care if people follow it, it's just nice to be able to pour out my thoughts without any reserve....

This is a new decade....I feel as if my twenties were a complete waste...nothing to show for them, well not this decade....then again they say, the 30's are the new 20's (which, by the way, I think is real bullshit...30 is 30, and 20 is 20, but if it makes you feel better), but I know I'm 30 and in ten years I'll be 40 (so glad I can add:) ), and the clock keeps tickin away....

All Im saying is do what you wanna do when you wanna do it..... If you havent started(whatever your resolution is)and think you're going to start at the beginning of the year, think again.....it takes time to attain the will power, and the motivation and thats not something that happens over night.